February! What a month.
Not gonna lie, it's had its ups and downs.
My beautiful mummy celebrated her birthday in the middle of the month. I stupidly left it far too late to book affordable train tickets down to see her (£250 round trip, ouch.) and the bus would have taken 14 hours each way. Luckily my knight in shining armour - or should that be fiancé in small car? - stepped up and we enjoyed a Disney-fuelled road trip down to see my family for a long weekend. We managed to squeeze in seeing all my immediate family and even had a sleepover at granny's! Top weekend.
On the other hand, I've been struggling with wedding plans. There's just under 12 months to go now, and we haven't booked anything. I've found it really difficult to reconcile my feminist ideals with what I've imagined my wedding 'should' be - I'm sure many modern women who've had the dream of a big white wedding since childhood feel the same way. We're having a Humanist ceremony so I don't have to worry about uncomfortable vows: we can choose our own. But as much as I love my dad and obviously want him to play an important part in my wedding, I don't want him to walk me down the aisle. It's nothing to do with him. It's the fact that I hate that tradition: I am not an object to be handed from one man to another. And, really, this wedding is nothing to do with my dad or anyone else besides me and David. We've chosen to make this commitment to each other, not to our parents. I want us to walk down the aisle together.
There's the venue crisis, too. We've only viewed one venue, a sprawling old house deep in the countryside. It has enough room for our closest friends and family to sleep over for the weekend, and we loved that. At first. They've been pretty slow in responding to any of my queries and it's kind of put me on edge. I'm also worried that it's too difficult for our guests to get to, especially if it snows next winter, and that we'd be spending almost our entire budget on just the venue.
We both had the day off work yesterday, and talked a lot about what we actually want. We decided that the most important things are that the people we love are with us and that we all enjoy good food, good wine, and good music. It doesn't matter where we celebrate, and if we're that bothered about all being together for the whole weekend then we can all stay in the same hotel. So we're looking at more local venues - town halls, old theatres and the like - and will hopefully find something we fall in love with.